February 26th, 2019

I've been sobbing all over her stuff tonight.

February 26th, 2019. It was the last time Evee wore her little jacket only to come out and get something from the car with me. The spit up has really yellowed over nearly a year. It still smells like her. Oh my gosh, it still smells just like her. 💔 It brings me right back to holding her small little body, all bundled up, and feeding her in this jacket on a bench in Target, numerous times. 😞 She'd always spit up on this jacket after I put her back in her car seat.

We went to bed early on this night, one year ago, probably around 8 o'clock. I didn't do any basketball lineups on Draft Kings because Evee and I had a busy day of premaking meals, cluster feeding, and playing. So no reason to stay up. We laid down together in bed, I put on Moshi's "Sleepy Paws", and she watched intently as I sang to her. We probably played around in bed for an hour until she nursed to sleep, I put her in her "spot", and I turned over and fell asleep but not before I set my alarm to remind me...

...we had a doctor's appointment tomorrow. 💔

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